Ok so its no secret I suffered from Postnatal Depression (PND) with not one but both little cherubs – second time slightly more brutal. I found being a new mum overwhelming, these feelings were totally unexpected as I always imagined it would be a calm time of bonding. This sudden shockwave that motherhood sent through me is a sentiment shared by many first timers I would have thought.
Well I want to share with you my first birth experience without all the visuals. But before I launch boots and all, there’s an upside to my story and that is that I was lucky to experience a text book pregnancy – sorry not sorry, but that’s where the great news ends. Because I had such a wonderful pregnancy, I naturally assumed this would roll over to labour. I was ready for birth, there are drugs available… right so I got this. I’ve got a plan! Well that shot to shit. Here’s how it rolled;
I had reached the pinnacle of my hardworking media career. Group Sales Manager on a blue chip account for a blue chip conglomerate – News Corp. More than 16 years in the making. I never really loved kids. Yep for real. I didn’t even respect my baby dolls so surely that’s a red flag. But one day the ovaries twinged and the time had come to give it a crack. Mr T happily obliged.
Number 1. happened straight up. I wasn’t at all nauseous, devoured cucumbers lathered in salt and vinegar for breakfast and leaned right down because I could no longer guzzle vino. I had this super- hero level of energy pounding the circuit, pumping iron and giving the Gen Y barbies a run for their money with old mate Less Mills. Hair like a rock star and skin glowing. This is bloody great, I thought to myself!
On the Thursday night Mr T and I were up watching The Footy Show finals series and like a newborn I refused to give into my tiredness at 4pm and pushed on . Regrettably I went to bed just after 11.30pm only to be woken at midnight by a gush of water. A GUSH. I flew out of bed as though I was about to give birth that second! What the heck I’m not due for another 10 days! I thought first babies were late??
So I called the midwife! She recommended we come in straight away.
At 8am the following morning with minimal progress I had to be induced to eliminate risk of infection. There I had been sitting up like Jackie sipping tea and hoovering toast, but as soon as I was induced, that my friend, swiftly shifted to insurmountable pain before I started to get anywhere.
For those of you who know me well, know my immense fear of IV drips in the back of the hand. Yep I have very low pain tolerance and not afraid to say it. But in this situation, I had no option. That brought on the tears and the fear. Begging my poor OB for an alternative entry point like a foot or something anywhere but there. He was quick to remind me that this will pale into insignificance compared to what lies ahead. And he didn’t lie…
Brutal, zero to a million “kill me now” “I wanna die” “I hate this, please someone help” please.
By 12.30 pm ‘someone’ was ready for the world with no OB in sight. My pleas for an epidural were heard albeit fashionably late. The hard work had basically been done drug free.
Suddenly My OB arrived and so did a flock of nurses. I pushed and pushed. Huffed and puffed. The burning downstairs was like a Chinese burn totally off the charts.
Whilst the epidural slowed the show down, at 1.47pm Lucinda Kay Bennett graced us with her presence. Weighing in at a teeny 5 pound 12 and not a stich or a tear. I will forever be grateful to the amazing staff at Epworth Hospital in Melbourne.
On Friday 21 September 2007 my world changed forever. Lucinda was just perfect. For someone not maternal I instantly became a fiercely protective, obsessive and well…blubbery newborn mum.
Whilst I like to lighten things up, I still get teary talking about that moment. I will continue my birth and hospital experience in my next blog and how overwhelming it was juggling well meaning visitors engorged boobs and a teeny little newborn fiercely determined to latch on. That determination shines through 12 years on. And I bloody love her for it. Ms L, Luc, Lucinda, Lucy boots will be an integral team member of Mumma & Co and you will fall in love with this package of immense delight.
Stay tuned for Number 2. Mr. A. Possibly the worst birth experience out there. Ok, the jury’s out.
Feel free to share your birth stories – warts and all in a supportive safe place – Mumma & Co.
We’ve got you Mumma you are all bloody amazing
Love Renee xo
Mumma & Co.
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